The summer is almost over now and I am still feeling the loss like it only happened yesterday. Alone in a woorld that just keeps spinning and moving and going around, I find myself more and more intensely sad. I can't seem to keep myself from missing him, from longing for him.  I want to go home to him, I want to wake up besides him in the moorning and run my fingers through his hair. I want to see him at first light and know i can hear his breathing. Where did I  go wrong?

There are people who have been very kind to me and tell me that God doesn't want me to be with him, but I can't see the past the proverible trees. I have so much conviction that I am supposed to be with him that the words are falling on deaf ears. I still pray and have hope. Hope is a very confusing emotion to hold onto to.

 

I don't even have a phototgraph

I can't look into his eyes

I can't reminice about your face

I just relive all of the lies.

It was easier with pictures

the pain was so much more real

Now all I have what I know

and how it makes me feel.

I remember i was with you

planting flowers by your side

the sun was warm upon my face

and I felt the love inside.

Then suddenly you woke one day

and you left me all alone

You took the love I had for you

and you were simply gone.

I try so hard, everyday

to come to understand

what i did or didn't do

that made me lose my man.

You were here and then your gone

and I was broken-hearted

that tears still fall

the prayers still call

and your still my sweet departed.

Everyday I  make wish

and hope that God is listening

I ask for you to understand

the pain that you inflicted.

No one knows how bad it is

that I just want to die

and there isn't any photograph

to reflect inside your eyes

or to to feel you deep inside

I just remember all the lies.

And so iit goes for me, another night of dreaming of him, of talking with him and of seeing him. I wish he could red this words, but I don't think that would even help him to  understand what he has left me to deal with. I don't think he would even care at this time. Listen, if anyone out there reading this talks to God today, do me afavor and ask him to watch over my beautiful gift, my beautiful promise, my fairy tale, my Roger.