Just this minute I had a thought, a memory I guess you could call it. It might sound silly to some but I can't believe I haven't thought of it at all until now. There was this special way I used to fall asleep next to him, when he loved me and didn't push me away in bed like he did in waking life. He used to come to bed after me, and he would lie down on his back and say "I love my bed" and then he would roll over to his side and face the door, and I would get right up next to him and wrap one leg over his enormous stomach and I would stroke his hair and rub his back. Sometimes he would pretend to be bothered by it, but he wasn't. He liked it, it made him feel good and he would fall asleep that much more quickly. When, of course, he wasn't pushing me away. When he loved me.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
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