Today the sun is bright and light and promises to fill the earth with warmth. I have the need to be outside and bask in as much of it as I can. I think I'll pack a light lunch and go to the beach with my Sunday NY Times crossword and just veg out on the sand for as long as I can. I want to erase all of the yesterdays from my mind and for just a short time today pretend that everything is right with the world. I think I can do that. I know that I can do that.

I saw his car at the diner last night, Hungarian goulash night. Sometimes, it seems to me, that routines are never really changed that much. His or mine. I took a little comfort in that. It's just that at this time of year I think back on the flowers and the garden and the sheer pleasure of planting and living and loving with him.

Also, today is a month that I am into a new birthday. As usual, there were no balloons or festivities for me, something I have surprisingly gotten quite acceptable of. Sad, really, but nonetheless, accepting of. It is amazing what one can become accustomed to, the lack of or the more of whatever it is.

Yet, I don't want to spend even one minute today on being sad or relegated to the past. Today is a beautiful spring day and I want to enjoy it as much as I can. That's all I have planned, nothing more. I'd even say that I deserve it.

So, please excuse me while I go find a bikini to slip on and I hope that everyone has real nice day too.

Ciao.