It is very cold here in more ways than just the weather. The absence of hope is all around me and I am trying desperately to stay afloat. I have given up on having a happy holiday season and am instead remembering past Christmases and New Years with a sigh of regret and a little tinge of anger of how I was alone waiting for a call. How, I wonder, do other people seem to just be there for each other? Why did I have to meet such an incredibly distant man?

The sun would be nice right now. I am even too tired to write.