Is holding on to this really worth waking up and being angry about? Is my life really designed to be spent in suspended animation, always second-guessing myself and giving away my energy to self-doubt and lies? Why do people lie and leave you feeling foolish for believing in them in the first place? What is the "gain" in stringing someone along and then tossing them away so easily when it becomes inconvenient to have them with you or be any part of your life? Where in lies the benefit of this action in the whole circle of life?

I am dumbfounded. I truly am.

Sometimes I blame the fact that I am not drinking anymore. Perhaps being sober is too boring for some people. Perhaps I am too boring for some people. Perhaps, and I think I am going to go with this one, some people just suck.

Well, I woke up this morning and I have a gut feeling that I will be going out later and things will change.

Betrayal is not just an emotion, but a fact. Lying hurts. Mistrust is draining. These statements are all true. These feelings are all real, not insignificant, like some people I know would tell me they are. They are real, they are present and they stink.

Whatever happens, wherever the day leads me, I will be with me, the only one I can truly count on. I have no more time for lies or broken promises. I am done with that part of my life. Revenge sounds sweet , but I will have to think on that for sometime. After all I am not evil, just bruised again. And bruises heal. And time is on my side and I am certain in my conviction that I am right and they are wrong. And really, that's all I need to know. Karma is a wonderful thing.

Peace my loyal friends. till we meet again.