It is morning and the world outside my window is covered in a thin blanket of snow. The drive home last night was comparable to a Norman Rockwell painting. The solitude of the country roads were tranquil and surreal. Trees loomed large on either side and only through the headlights were we aware of the sudden turns we had yet to navigate through. The silence was dared not broken, for although not spoken, I believe we both realized what an amazing gift we had unwittingly found ourselves in and we took in every moment of that part of our journey home in deep thought and personal reflectiveness. Only until the bright lights of the city suddenly sprang out in front of us, did we start to come back to reality and to what we both had to return to. Congenial chatter and non - tethered promises of things to come accompanied our ride the rest of the way of home.

Hello, my friends, I hope you are all snugly warm and safe this morning. I am. It has been a week of broken dreams and betrayal by many people in my life and I was overcome with grief last Saturday as I had to come to terms with friends stealing from me and then lying to me about it. I am sure I should be used to this sort of behavior by now, but I am still very hurt in my heart when anyone takes advantage of my good nature and deceives me. Too much stress and overwhelming anxiety, I couldn't eat or sleep and almost ended up back in the hospital again, where I was "on vacation" last week. Not for long, just time enough to re-hydrate my body and bring my white blood cell count down to what the doctors believe to be normal for me.

So, instead of reverting to olden times of drinking my life's woes away, I picked up the phone, called my ex-best friend and sweetly convinced him a long and relaxing drive to the Jersey Shore was all I needed to get back to me. And he said yes, and I feel better. I played and laughed and slept and ate way too much. Naps were the order of the day and holding hands was the closest we came to being romantic. Yet, somehow that was just right. I no longer found myself afraid of losing time or wasting nights not making love to him and just took the minutes and hours I had with him in quiet gratitude. It was calm and serene and felt really, really good.

So now it is morning on the most historic day the free world has seen in a very long time. I am still with him and the business of life is unfolding as I write. But, that's still okay with me. I am calmer now and have taken the steps that will help me to set this act of betrayal behind me and move forward and live in peace again. Ironically, at 12:30 am on Saturday I was in such a good, happy place in my mind and less than twelve hours later I found myself in a quagmire of official documents and federal investigation because of this deception. I truly thought I would break, but here I am and I am calm. I only have one deep and sorrowful regret, I can not trust anyone any longer. I must quietly resign myself to forge ahead in this world by myself and all alone in matters that are of the up most importance. Even reaching out to fellow AA's on Saturday left me baffled and disappointed. So much so, that in fact I walked out of my meeting only twenty minutes into it. I sometimes truly hate that I belong there. But, like everything else from the past I have to learn to let it go.

Well, that's it for now, he is awake and hungry and I am more than happy to serve his needs. Take care, my friends and have a wonderful, peaceful day.