Well, all things being consistent and being Roger, he did call me around 4:30 yesterday afternoon and we planned on a night of Chinese food and Scrabble. I was dressed and packing my overnight bag when he called back and told me he was going out with his"daughters". This only bothers me because he has used them as an excuse time and again and even if it were true I would have no way of knowing. I guess some things never leave you. Saturday night, dinner with his kids? Just doesn't seem like him at all. But I will again, as I have always done, give him the benefit of the doubt. He promised me brunch today, something he has never done before either, I might add. It is after ten and he has not logged on yet. Am I hoping for too much? My mind is beginning to go where it shouldn't because it will only lead me to one thing. I hope I can handle it and I hope he does call. Waiting is murder and I think I deserve more. Flowers would be nice, he has never done that for me before either. Not once. And yet, he does it for others, I have seen the statements from the florist. What is so wrong with me to him? Last week when we came home from Jersey, I heard him telling his kids and his evil-eyed friend that he was away with his"buddies" in Jersey watching football and drinking so he stayed there for the weekend. Don't you think that hurt? It did. But I didn't say a word. And why do I care so much about his opinion of me? And why does loneliness feel so bad? Why is it so consuming?