Well, hello again, my friends. It has been awhile since I have written or even been on line. I have nothing really new or exciting to report except that I am still waiting on getting my belongings back and there is absolutely no communication at all. Where does this person get off thinking he can keep, give away or throw out my things? I will never understand this part of him, or anyone else for that matter, at all. I had a conversation with a friend of mine yesterday that pointed out to me that anyone else that wants no more to do with someone would more than likely want them to get their things and clear out of their life completely. So why did I get stuck with that one person that is still holding onto part of me? That's it, pretty tired these last few days, haven't been sleeping too well and doing too many things during the days. It's good to be back.

Caio for now.

It occurs to me this morning that I have not been in a really good frame of mind for some time now. I blame myself. If I didn't love so unconditionally I wouldn't be in this state of mind, but, if I didn't have the chance to love at all, I wouldn't be here either. Where am I to go now? What am I to do? My best instincts tell me to run as far away as possible, but I am paralyzed in my own existence. I want to kiss him again and make him love me, but I am frightened with the fear of rejection he keeps sending me. That's all for now. Ciao

Well, I finally had a "talk" with the asshole yesterday. More like a chat. He told me he was moving, shutting down my phone, won't pay me back and not to come over and get my stuff. I was furious. He sucks. He claims he will drop off my things at my mom's, idiot that he is he doesn't even know whats mine anymore. Seems he's either moving into that bitch in heat's house or with that black skank or with anyone else he's sleeping with right now. Why the hell do I still care about him or what he does anymore at all. I want my stuff, I want my my money and I want to keep my phone on, claims he wasn't paying me back because he was paying for my phone. Now he's taking that as well. I HATE HIS GUTS. I hate that I ever met him in the first place and I hope bad things happen to him for the rest of his narcissistic life. He also told me that he never wants anything to do with me ever again. Think I was suicidal before, it's getting worse.

In a moment's time, I think of you and then you're gone, where exactly are you?