It occurs to me this morning that I have not been in a really good frame of mind for some time now. I blame myself. If I didn't love so unconditionally I wouldn't be in this state of mind, but, if I didn't have the chance to love at all, I wouldn't be here either. Where am I to go now? What am I to do? My best instincts tell me to run as far away as possible, but I am paralyzed in my own existence. I want to kiss him again and make him love me, but I am frightened with the fear of rejection he keeps sending me. That's all for now. Ciao