I want to climb to the highest mountain I can find today and scream at the top of my lungs that this is not going to happen to me again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am through with the "have patience" thing and the "say a prayer that things will work out" thing. Hear that God, I'm done. I just want to go back with life right now, I want to go back being happy and laughing and dancing again, I don't like this "limbo" crap anymore. Can I get any more exact than that to you? Can you hear me NOW?

That said, Good morning my friends.....


Well, it's been a stellar week, I can say that. The universe, the eclipse, the stars, they have all played their roles very well and as predicted these last few days. As from Sunday on, I have been on a roller coaster ride of emotions and turbulence and , by the way did I ever mention to you that I absolutely hate roller coaster rides?, I do, but, still I am strapped in and awaiting the next sharp curve and the always dooming climb and decent.

Today I plan on the beach. I haven't been at all this year, so this should be good. The sun is shining and the day looks promising, but my heart is still in foreign territory. Not yet eclipsing with my soul right now. Or maybe it's my soul that is awol and not my heart at all. I'm really not at liberty to say, all I know is I feel like I am limbo and I'm pretty sure I know why.

So, moving forward, the beach. Looking forward to it actually. Baby oil, fresh fruit, sand, and the always amusing people watching thing. I love to watch the world. Be an observer and you shall learn, alot. Do you realize how much you can learn from what people bring to the beach? You can write volumes on that alone. It's a fact. You leave home, your stuff, your life. You head out into a direction you know where you can't bring what you are most comfortable being surrounded by so you carefully choose what you desire most to be with you. Your best "I'm leaving home for a few hours but I still need to be connected" stuff. Some people bring everything and it's quite a struggle, and to me a waste of time, to see them just unloading their car and navigating through the parking lot. These days I'm sure that involves a laptop, an ipod and and a cellphone. I have a cellphone, these days who doesn't? But, let's not forget the concept of going to the beach. Relaxation. There are very few people on this earth that I can honestly say I would
feel at ease just going to the beach with. My family fights where ever they go, so I never go to the beach with them, and they live at the beach. My girlfriend Jean from Brooklyn is just too high maintenance for me to even relax on the sand with, let alone explore the possibilities of having some quality girlfriend time other than in my home, or more specifically, kitchen with. And Roger, well, let's just keep that part a mystery, suffice it to say I loved going to the beach with him. No, there is actually only one person I have gone to the beach with , been to the beach with and am going to the beach with today. He's quiet, he's polite, he's funny when he wants to be and he brings the radio. He never fights with me, he opens the door for me and he's safe. Thank you my friend. So I am looking forward to this day or better still not even having to plan the day, maybe just a few hours and that's it, that's the beauty of knowing each other so well. You don't have to put on a fake smile and laugh if you don't want to. Yesterday we went to lunch. I was having a bit of an emotional hangover and he knew it and he accepted it and he got me through it. Thanks again.

So to today my dear friends, let's laugh, let's tan, let's just be the best at being ourselves.

Ciao.