Good Morning Friends.

Dreams, dreams and more dreams. Actually nightmares to me. Spending way too much time on this blog site, or is it because I bashed him so badly yesterday that guilt is seeping into my unconscious. I really was never any good at being mean on purpose. I always hated confrontations of any kind. I'm truly not built that way.

I wrote the judge the letter yesterday, only to find out my printer is not working, so I guess I'll be going to the library today. Have to mail and include an article from the New York Post, that I can't seem to find in my two suitcases of pre-trial paperwork I have. As long as it is already written, that alone is alot of stress off my shoulders at this time.

Really planted a seed about going away in my head by writing about it. I can alsmost smell the water and feel the sand between my toes. Really wish I could run and hide right now. Well, maybe not hide, but just get out of here for a week or so. Get a tan, a massage, some casino action perhaps? Just athought, and that's real dream.

Well, he's on line again, don't know for how long, went on a coffee break , just got back. He seems to stay under that one particular name alot these days, maybe he's in yahoo chat rooms under his alias. The man has alot of aliases, that's for sure.

What I wouldn't give to just hear his voice right now. Got that statcounter and no one from New York has been reading my blog. That's where I am. Long Island, to be exact.

Oh well, guess he doesn't know, kinda wished he did. Kinda wish alot of things right now. Doesn't make them real or about to come true. Just makes them wishes.

The more intense I am about where he is and what he is doing, I wonder, is he talking to anyone, is anyone there with him, etc. Maybe, instead of going away I should get hypnotised, like when they stop you from smoking, and only I can stop thinking about him. Does that make sense to anyone? Actually I should just take him off my damn buddy list and leave him off, but I'm really not sure if I want to let that last little connection go just yet.

Ok, I'll be back.