Saturday Morning and I feel like I'm high school. You know how it is. I passed a note to afriend about a guy I like and it it was passed to another friend, and so and son, etc.. (I actually emailed him yesterday's post)

I admit, I felt bad yesterday. I hate spending my time and energy in the great unknowns. I was doing fine and then he came calling and then he was gone and I'm left confused again. So what do I do now? The last thing he said was that he'd call me over the weekend and tell me if it was in his schedule to see me. ????????

You know, pretty much all of me wants to reconnect, but pretty much most of me knows the difference. Hell, 6 months is a long time to think about the pros and the cons of a relationship that went so wrong. It's not like I didn't waste that time not reflecting on everything. How would any other man think any other woman would react?

The saving grace of yesterday for me was I already had plans for last night and they worked out fine. Fresh flowers on my kitchen table and a new understanding of how to accomplish something new and creative are evidence of an evening well spent. But, alas the inevitable where is he, who is he with and what is he doing complicated my forward thinking and penetrated my heart.

He has only to be in the same room as me and I am intoxicated forever by his charms.

So, what does he expect me to do today? Wait for a phone call that I'm sure will never come and if it does be willing to run to him? I don't know. I think I'll have to think on this a bit more, make some phone calls myself and allow other more positive influences in my life take control of thoughts.

I would do almost anything for this man, but I want the same thing back.