Sometimes it feels like lifetime ago, the love , the laughter, the friendship. And then sometimes it feels like minutes ago. I have to catch myself, I have to remind myself to breathe. The pain is still fresh and new, the scars seem not to have healed, the yearning is forever present. I am lost, and all alone.

Yet, I am not alone. But there will never be anyone to replace to him. There will forever be hole in my heart and an emptiness in my soul.

The memories are with me forever, and I welcome them. I want to go back to Paris, tonight, this minute, right now. I want to go back to the beach in Port Carmague, and the Victor Hugo Plaza for really great italian food. I want to laugh with him again, and feel his arms around me, I want to know him one more time and make it last for a lifetime.

I pray everyday for him and I will never stop. Praying, hoping, loving.

Oh yeah, I want my stuff back too.