An open letter to a former friend.

Dear B.B. I am sorry that you feel so slighted by me. It is not without careful thought and consideration that I chose to place you in a far away place in my heart and my mind. You gave me just cause.

I thought you were my friend. You weren't. When I was at my weakest point this summer, you took advantage of me and hurt me, in ways that I am sure you don't even fully recognize. It seems you have forgotten about what you did, what you made me do and what you promised me in return. How nice for you to live in such bliss that you are right and I am wrong. How convenient for you to be playing the victim while not even remembering the complete and utter failure of my life when you took of advantage of me in the worst way you could. You are not my friend, you are not the victim and you are wrong.

You insulted me with a barage of emails calling me names and being disgusting, that you suddenly took back, you threatened me and then took back the proof that I would need to prove my side of the story. You harassed my eldery mother because you thought you would gain the sympathy vote. Leave her alone.

It is neither my fault or my responsiblity that you are where you are in life today. I am only accountable for my actions. I did not have anything to do with your lot in life and it seems you should realize that. You need to be responsible for your own actions and the choices you made, over the summer and now.

Further, it was with the complete understanding that at the conclusion of my court case, and only then, that I was responsible to our agreement, nothing was ever said about anything else. EVER. But, that agreement, like our friendship, is all in the past now, isn't it?


You ask me why I don't care about you? You didn't care about me at all then, when I needed a friend the most. You just thought of yourself and what you needed at that moment. And you got it, didn't you? How convenient for you now that you think I am doing so well that you have forgotten your own words and actions.

Point of fact, I am not doing well, I am surviving. I am taking each day one hour at time, just to stay sober and live in the present. I am accountable only to myself and my actions. It seems it is a much more calmer place to be mentally, than to have to take on someonelse's shortcomings that have nothing to do with me in the first place.

So, with a very clear conscious, and with the only regret I have of just trusting you, I am imploring you to leave me alone for now. I am asking that you stop this fantasy you have of me dancing on tables and flying off to exoctic countries in your mind. You are sabotaging your own life. You are playing games in your mind with yourself that are simply not true.

You know what you need to do to make yourself a better man and person, why don'y you finally do it? Why do you think it is always someonelse's responsibility to get you out of your own way? I am tired of you playing the victim, you and I both know the truth. Please leave my mother and me alone.