It was a night of never-ending dreams, places I have never been before and people both familiar and foreign to me. Waking me over and over again, bringing me back and forth into myself and my unending nightmare. I am awake now, ready for the day and whatever it holds.

It is sad to wake up and feel like the rain outside is here just for me, that the clouds that hang so low in the sky seem to be foretelling my emotions for the day. Yet, there are no tears, no impending doom that the world will end. The time for that has come and gone and gone again. The visit here too short in length to actually matter and the quality not all that good. Adios mi amigo.

I will remember that I am only one woman with one heart and one world. I am no bigger than I make myself out to be. I can have the world I crave for myself if I let go of the world that no longer feels safe to me. Isolation is not in my plans for today. Life is, I have so much to do for the holiday that is just days away.

Sitting here, idly typing is also not in the make-up for my morning. For what am I really accomplishing here, nothing of any real satisfaction, just having another opportunity to feel bad about the inevitable. Sandy beaches creep into my sub-conscious and I throw them away as soon as they appear. I needn't let myself go down that road anymore, there are other paths to take.

I am not 100% just yet, but I am aware that the distance is shorter right now for me to get there than it has ever been in the past. So that is that, and I am still breathing and existing and capable of love. A love someone good will give me back.